


Blue Side

by Cerulean_Gaze



Category: Gintama
Genre: F/M, Set from Mitsuba Arc, Unrequited Love, shortfic, song-inspired fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 01:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13916757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerulean_Gaze/pseuds/Cerulean_Gaze
Summary: ˹ Inside my blue dream, I want to contain youEven if you say no, Inside my eyesInside my blue dream, I want to hold youEven if you say we can't, Inside my embrace. ˼





	Blue Side

**Author's Note:**

> The work is inspired by a song, an outro song titled "Blue Side" from Jung Hoseok's mixtape, "Hope World". 
> 
> Try listening to it while reading the work to boost up the mood!

                _It might be only in his dream, after all._

                His young thoughts of simply seeing her sweet, mellifluous smile grew into wanting to make her to do so, being the reason of the said smile of her. It then grew into wanting her to give such happiness, and then grew into wanting her at all.

                Yet, all he could do is to watch her, to be on her side most of the time, and to be her mere friend at all.

                Although he wanted to have her, to hold her, and to give what she deserves, he doesn’t let himself to cross that line.

                _It was a mere dream of his, after all._

                He doesn’t want to break through the dream, just to break the only connection between him and her. He was a just a _friend_ , he believed, and held unto. It only stays as it was; dreams being dreams, reality being reality. He knew to himself that he should be contented with such situation he is with her, letting him be alone on his lonely yet serene dreams.

                _But what if it was this silent dream itself break through reality?_

                The words she had spoken before the day they had to leave… It made the blue dreams of his to flash through his eyes, seeing the first smile she flashed to him until wanting him to give her the reason to do so…

                _Happiness_. It was what he felt at knowing to have a chance to give her what he wanted to do.

                To take her with him.

                To hold her tenderly in his embrace.

                To make her happy at all.

                _… Or is it really was?_

It then abruptly dawned unto his mind… It started to dawn from his blue, serene dreams, changed into darkening, frightening nightmares… Coming from the future they will go ahead, the beginning of their dangerous work…

                That might disturb her.

                That might give a risk to her life.

                _That might take her away from him._

_… He was afraid to lose his only dream._

_A fear._ It was what struck unto him after his dreams reached into dusk. The blue, serene dreams of him just faded from his grasp… along with the uncertain fate he turned his back to. As soon as he spoke his brief response, it lastly faded out of his grasp… the dream he was about to hold unto.

                …..

                It was a mere memory of his only love that he had hidden for a long time ago. The puppy love he had only believed after time made its job to cope him from the lost. He never admitted the dream he had with her, yet he still chose to live on the fate he chosen over his dream with her… creating another dream of her being safe and sound on wherever she was. It somehow gave a pat of comfort on his back, although a faint trail of remorse had made its way through his chosen fate. He knew that he not might be the one to give what he was dreaming to give her, letting the fate do its will between the dream and reality of his.

                But the fate seems to take its vengeance to him.

                His once blue, serene dreams… and now his safe yet distressing dream threatened to reach its end again.

                Desperately, unlike before he did, he tightly clutched unto that dream and made his way to fix the twisted fate his dream was facing on. Emerging dreams and nightmares breaking through reality, only one thing he could only give at least to the end of his dreams of her before it could totally vanish…

                _Happiness._

                The happiness he once obliviously refused to give to her… He should at least give his dream a quiet goodbye, abolishing her once, selfless dream turned into nightmare he was facing to. It was the only way he at least could do, both of their dreams ending on the same time… until to the last breathe and glimpse of her…

                Reminiscing his once blue, serene dream… returning to the mere side of his naïve, blue dreams, he finally comes to understand what he was really holding to.

                Not only about the happiness should they both have.

                Not only about _her._

But also about his blue, serene dreams.

                …..

                _It must be only in his dreams, after all._

**Author's Note:**

> HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY ~ ^ ^ )
> 
> It's my first work for this pairing, and I really love HijiMitsu so bad it hurts me ; ; ) They might be really get into canon pairs of the anime if Mitsuba didn't pass away, no? ; ; ) I tried to recreate what might be Hijikata's thoughts and perspective about their relationship, and I hope I didn't mess up with this one ; w ; )
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please do leave a kudos and a thoughtful comment if you liked the shortfic! ^^
> 
> Have a nice day/night ahead ~
> 
> [[ Check out my FB page for my work updates!  
> Link: https://web.facebook.com/puransu08 ]]


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